We don’t live in the Same reality

“Don’t try to bring him into your reality. He doesn’t live there anymore.”

That’s what my dad’s neurologist said to my mom last week. The doctor wasn’t being cruel, he was helping her understand that my dad’s brain simply doesn’t work the way it used to.

But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that sentence.

The more I sit with it, the more I realize it applies to every single one of us.

No one lives in the exact same reality as you.
No one has walked your path, carried your stories, or filtered life through your exact lens.

Even something as simple as “let’s get lunch” can mean completely different things.
For one person, that’s 11:30 sharp. For another, it’s closer to 2.
Are we eating out or bringing food? Are we catching up for ten minutes or staying all afternoon?

We know we have to clarify those details in order to be on the same page about lunch.
But what about the deeper things in life: grief, healing, growth, or trauma?

We don’t always give each other the same grace.

One person may process through therapy, talking it out piece by piece.
Another may move through meditation or yoga.
An artist may paint what they feel.
A gardener might heal through the quiet rhythm of tending to the earth.

None of them are wrong.
Each one is simply working within their own reality.

When we expect the people we love to deal with life the same way we do, we’re asking them to step into our world instead of honoring their own.

Can you imagine a world where everyone had to grieve or grow the same way?

When we release that expectation, we open the door for connection instead of control.
We get to see others as they truly are: not who we wish they would be.

Here’s the really beautiful part:
When you stop trying to pull others into your reality, you also free yourself to live more fully in your own.

Now, doesn’t that sound like a more joyful existence?

The next time you find yourself jumping to a conclusion, or not understanding why someone doesn’t see something your way, consider your reality, your lived experience, versus their’s. This is one incredible way we can lead with kindness.